Published: July 22, 2026
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Kitchen Conversations

A Kitchen Conversation Guide

Here are seven easy steps to begin advance care planning in your own Kitchen Conversation:

  1. Consider who to include in an advance care planning conversation.  It’s best to begin with family members or close friends that are good listeners and who you would trust to support your health care wishes.  It’s important to choose persons who can listen openly and “see beyond” their own personal health care wishes – their wishes may be different from those you choose.

    Many individuals include a partner, spouse, adult child, brother or sister, best friend or other trusted person.  While there’s no “right” or “wrong” on who to include, it’s helpful to include several individuals so that those closest to you understand your wishes.

  2. Watch an Honoring Choices Minnesota documentary as a group. There are six 30-minute documentaries on our website at Honoring Choices that will make it easier for you to begin a conversation with your loved ones.

    You’ll learn how others begin to have this family conversation, what important points to include, and your next steps.   There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to begin – the most important thing is to start!

  3. Download and print free copies of the Honoring Choices Minnesota health care directive from our website at www.honoringchoices.org/healthcaredirective.  Make copies for everyone involved in the conversation.  The directive is available at no charge in 5 languages – English, Spanish, Hmong, Somali and Russian.
  4. Be sure to ask yourself these questions:
    • If you were very sick and unable to speak or represent yourself, who would communicate your wishes to your physician or other health care providers?
    • What does “quality of life” mean to you if you were very sick?  What would a good “quality of life” look like?  What would you be able to still do?
    • What would a poor “quality of life” look like?  What limits in speaking, communicating or thinking would indicate that your “quality of living” was declining?
    • Who would you want to represent your health care wishes if you were unable to communicate?  Who could best support these wishes during a medical emergency and in stressful situations?
  5. Schedule a preliminary conversation at a time when it’s quiet and relaxing.  You want to avoid unnecessary interruptions.  This is a time to turn off television, radio, and other unneeded gadgets.
  6. After finishing your first conversation, plan to have a follow-up discussion – giving everyone a chance to reflect.  Give yourself time to revisit the conversation and discuss other values that are important.  Use the Honoring Choices Minnesota health care directive as a guide to identify your values, wishes, health care agent (representative), and other key matters.
  7. Based on your conversations, carefully complete your written health care directive. Give copies of your completed and signed form to family members, close friends, your appointed health care agent and physician.  Keep your own copy in an accessible place in your home.  Do not keep copies in a safe deposit box, locked drawer or other place that is not accessible in an emergency.  Your health care directive belongs in your home, in your auto glove compartment, in your purse or briefcase when traveling, or in other places that are easy to find in case of an unexpected emergency.

You are now one of a growing number of Americans with a completed health care directive. Look what your “kitchen conversation” has accomplished! You have given your family and loved ones a great gift.

[Link: a downloadable pdf of this guide]

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